It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
