if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
