Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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