Nicole vs. Life
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
