when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
