the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
