is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm like, not good at living.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize