Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
