bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
