Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
