Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
