i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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