our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize