i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
