How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
