so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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