My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
