I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize