I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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