It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
