Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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