meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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