his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
