I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
