It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
