i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize