Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
