a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
