umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
