ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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