This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Come on in and take your pants off
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