woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
