my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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