We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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