I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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