Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
