Whod you bang
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
