This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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