k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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