what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
