hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
