he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
