just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
