I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I would fuck him just for his dog
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