i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize