Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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