yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
