Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
