She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize