i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
