The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
