Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm passing your future prison.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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