she was so not down for the gang bang
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
