He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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