he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A+ Viking dick
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize