My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize