I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
