i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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