i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize