Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
honey bunches of taint.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
