I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Watching her eat just hurts me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize