"it" just moved
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
