both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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