So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
