Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
