Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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