what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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