covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
