i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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