I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
