i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
