She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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